I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
