Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
