My room smells like vodka and shame
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
