we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize