ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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