batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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