He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I want to have your abortion
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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