She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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