You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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