This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I just want nice things and good sex
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
