with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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