do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize