I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
