I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
is wine microwaveable?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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