No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
