why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
