Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
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