I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
