Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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