Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I'm having to shit out rocks
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
