Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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