Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
