I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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