Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
bring money and cleavage
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Randomize