He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
