you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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