I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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