let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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