Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
So much rum. So many feels.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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