i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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