is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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