All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
