Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
