Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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