Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Drunk is a universal language darling
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
