i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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