No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
