He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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