i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize