I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
