do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
