they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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