Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
You need a sexual gate keeper
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Randomize
