Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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