Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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