the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
