My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
