They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
