well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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