his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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