Betty ford says i'm here all night
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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