Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize