My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I just blew my weed a kiss
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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