I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
