Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
we're so committed to being not committed
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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