some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
You ate ashes out of my bong
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize