okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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