that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
