even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
