More tranny stories later!
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize