the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
