how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
