I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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