I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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