dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
