too bad you live with your parents still
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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