I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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